Doctor Olga Škvareninová: We all perceive nonverbal communication. We have just learned to trust words more

Dr. Oľga Škvareninová from the Faculty of Mass Media Communication at the University of Trnava in Slovakia is one of the pioneers of nonverbal communication research in Slovakia. How does this field influence our everyday decisions and where has it taken her throughout her professional career?

In an interview with Dr. Škvareninová, you will learn:

why you should be careful if you are not even offered a glass of water at a job interview,
why a single gesture by a salesperson discouraged her from buying an electric heater,
whether she can detect lies from body language and why it is not as easy as many people think,
how a single lecture for football coaches turned into more than twenty years of cooperation with the Slovak Football Association,
why she was surprised when students in Vienna refused to use artificial intelligence in their assignment.

I have respect for you before talking to you. Since you are professionally engaged in verbal and non-verbal communication, I can't help but ask - how did you "read" me during our first few minutes?

I admit that I didn't focus on it at all. When I've known someone for a long time, I don't consciously follow them. It would be similar to analyzing my loved ones or friends. Sometimes certain details emerge by themselves, and they are often decisive in communication.

For example?

I will mention my arrival at the Faculty of Mass Media Communication. When I came here for the second time to discuss subjects and the schedule, a colleague brought me a glass of water. It may seem like a small thing, but it made a very positive impression on me. I even advise clients that if they are not even offered a glass of water at a job interview or in a new job, they should think about whether they really want to work there. I am even more pleased that such human gestures are completely natural at our faculty.

I often remember such little things. And sometimes it happens that I notice a detail that tells me that something is wrong. If I ignore it, life will later show me that I should have trusted my intuition. Maybe that is why today I try to trust more what I feel and observe. Nonverbal communication is not only about other people's gestures, but also about being sensitive to the situations we find ourselves in.

What is hidden under the term nonverbal communication?

Most people imagine mainly gestures and facial expressions, but it is a much broader term. This includes, for example, the distance we maintain from other people, the way we touch, facial expressions, or microexpressions that appear for only a fraction of a second.

The environment in which we communicate, our physical and mental condition, even the season or time of year when the communication takes place are also important. For example, some marketing campaigns or business activities are best timed differently during the summer and before Christmas. Similarly, in interpersonal communication, it depends on whether you address someone on a Monday or Friday afternoon.

So shouldn't we all educate ourselves more about nonverbal communication?

In fact, we all know much more about it than we admit. One philosopher said that we all naturally perceive nonverbal communication, but gradually we learn to trust words more than what we feel and observe.

For example, from birth we remember the smell of our mother. We can even remember the smell of the perfume she used during pregnancy. We have such abilities naturally in us, we just gradually suppress them and believe more in what we hear.

I myself have repeatedly seen that a small nonverbal signal can be very useful. During the gas crisis, I wanted to buy an electric heater. The salesman unobtrusively rubbed his palms together during the conversation, a gesture associated with the expectation of a good deal. At that moment, I realized that he was trying to sell me a good deal rather than help solve the problem. I did not buy the heater and in retrospect I consider it the right decision.

You also do such analyses with students in your classes. What interests them most about nonverbal communication?

Students love to analyze participants in various reality shows. They most often mention A Rose for the Bride, but we also discussed the shows Mama, Marry Me or Love Island. In such examples, it is often very clear who individual participants tend to like, who feels comfortable, who is nervous or trying to impress someone.

Among politicians, they are especially interested in world leaders and various international summits. It is precisely current examples that best show how verbal and nonverbal communication complement each other.

From everyday life, they are attracted to questions of love, hints in the body language of lovers or the nonverbal communication of gold diggers and gold diggers. Some contact me even after finishing their studies and ask about solving situations at the workplace.

For many years, you have also collaborated with the Slovak Football Association and have been involved in media training for coaches. Why do they actually need them?

Our cooperation began in 2004 with a two-hour lecture on communication. It gradually became an entire educational block that included verbal and non-verbal communication, argumentation, rhetoric, and communication with the media. Today, coaches do not only speak to players in the locker room. They give interviews after matches, comment on matches on television, and appear at press conferences. They are actually speakers and representatives of their club or team.

In the beginning, many spoke very quietly, mumbled, or were stressed. However, they gradually improved and it was clear that communication is a skill that can be developed. Later, our cooperation also expanded to media training for players. However, after more than twenty years, I decided to close this chapter and devote my energy to new challenges.

During your career, you have worked in very different environments – from football to law to diplomatic training. Which of them surprised you the most?

Each one was interesting in its own way. Right after the revolution, I taught English in a kindergarten. It was a dream come true for me, because young children are completely honest. When they don’t like something, they will let you know immediately.

Later came law, the diplomatic academy, training for people who perform at public ceremonies, courses for clergy, and various lectures abroad. I have always been fascinated by how important communication is in completely different professions.

You recently took courses in critical thinking and argumentation. What did they bring to you?

They taught me to express myself more concisely and precisely. I am one of those people who like to talk, but not everyone has time to listen to long explanations. Today, I try to say things clearly and to the point. I also notice this in everyday communication, for example when writing emails or when I advise my mother on how to make an appointment with a doctor. One does not have to "babble" everything, it is important to be able to politely and clearly state the essence.

You have always been one of those people who likes to learn new things. What has brought you the greatest joy in recent years and where would you like to move next?

I would definitely like to continue taking courses in critical thinking and argumentation. I am also very interested in face-to-face workshops where you meet people in person.

The Austrian German course was of great importance to me. During my time in Vienna, it made it much easier for me to handle everyday matters and better navigate the local environment. That's when you realize how important it is to understand not only the language, but also the cultural context of the country in which you live or work.

I like to live my dreams, so I fulfilled the one that I took dance courses with Petr Modrovský. Since I participated in many social events, I wanted to brush up on my dancing skills. To this day, I say that my secret dream is to dance in Let’s Dance. I would also like to dance in a folklore group again, like I did in high school.

You worked at the University of Vienna and have also lectured in other countries. What did your foreign experiences give you? Did you notice any differences between Slovak and foreign students?

There were more differences. Even when I was teaching Slovak as a foreign language, I noticed, for example, that foreign students automatically sat in the front rows of classes, while our students tend to occupy the back benches. That is why I still have a rule that the last row should remain empty, unless there is a really serious reason for it.

I also have an interesting experience with artificial intelligence. During a recent stay in Vienna, I assigned students a translation exercise and suggested that they could also use artificial intelligence tools and then compare the results with their own solution. I was surprised that they refused. They said that they wanted to solve the task using dictionaries, their own knowledge and language manuals.

Is it different here?

The situation in Slovakia is a little different. When I allowed students to use artificial intelligence for an assignment, several of them tried it. However, some of them discovered for themselves that the results need to be critically assessed and verified. One student even told me that as long as he had explained to the artificial intelligence what he wanted it to do, he could have solved the assignment himself.

However, I do not think that this is a generational or national problem. Rather, it is proof that we must use new technologies wisely and that we must teach students how to use them so that they serve us.

In the first class, I always tell students that the difference between us is not that I am a teacher and they are students, that I know everything and they are the ones who know less. The only difference is that I am older and have more experience. We learn from each other. And it is precisely with topics like artificial intelligence that I am perhaps most aware of this.

I have seen several photos of you with students outside of school – at football, hockey, excursions or Christmas markets. Why is this important to you?

I think that education does not end with the closing of the classroom door. For example, when we visited a hockey game, a press conference or a TV studio, students were able to see things in practice. At the same time, it is an opportunity to get to know each other in a different environment than just during lectures.

Two years ago, students invited me to a hockey game. At first, I asked them if I would be a bother and if they would not feel that I was controlling them even in their free time. On the contrary – they were very pleased that I came. We cheered together, I was wearing a jersey, there was a very pleasant atmosphere.

Such moments are very valuable to me. I am pleased when students tell me that they appreciate such activities. Thanks to them, we build a more natural relationship and get to know each other better.

What do students give you after all these years?

Energy and a new perspective on the world. Thanks to them, a person does not remain closed in their own generation and their own experiences. They teach me to look at things differently, they bring new topics, new words, new perspectives. Once they gave me a test on current student slang and I completely “burned out”. We still joke about it to this day.

I also learned a lot of practical things from the students – for example, one student advised me on how to better protect myself against negative people and so-called “energy thieves”. I also remember the situation when I bought a new phone. I was always used to having it connected to my operator. This time, however, the students told me that I could do it myself.

I realized that they put their trust in me and believed that I could do more than I thought. It is moments like this that remind me that education works both ways.